Yesterday I attempted an outing. I have gone on outings with all my kids before (all 4 including Eliza). Generally this isn't an issue. Obviously leaving the house with 4 kids 3-years and younger isn't a "wash and go" kind of task, but most often, we are out the door in 20 minutes. This usually includes shoes and hats, sunscreen, a topped off coffee mug for mama, a dual nursing session for the wee-ones, last minute check to make sure everything (and everyone) is accounted for, and then the strategic car seat loading. I need to take video of this sometime. It's an art, really. Or maybe a science? Probably both.
Back to yesterday.... We had grand plans for a Target run, and then a picnic lunch at a park. Easy peasy right? Doesn't require that much gear, no biggie? Yea, ONE HOUR AND 15 MINUTES. That is the amount of time it took to get us out the door. Let me break it down for you:
9:00 Logan attempts to eat breakfast
9:02 Logan spots Eliza playing with his toy. Logan runs to Eliza.
9:03 Logan resumes breakfast.
9:05 "Eliza, please clean up your work" Eliza: "NO!"
9:06 I finally get a sip of my coffee.
9:08 Logan is singing. While singing, he is NOT eating breakfast. "Logan, please eat your breakfast".
9:10 Massive poop from Parker
9:15 "Logan please eat your breakfast"
9:20 "Eliza, please clean up your work"
9:21 "Mom, I am done with my breakfast"
9:22 - 9:32 Logan washes hands
9:32 I realize Logan is STILL washing his hands - "Logan you are done washing your hands!"
9:33 "Eliza, you need to put your work away now, please!", Eliza "I see a bird!"
9:33 1/2 I refill my coffee mug. Which is now empty.
9:34-9:55 Logan changes his jammies into shorts and shirt... At the speed of one article of clothing every two minutes.
9:56 Parker poops
9:57 Parker in car seat
9:58 Fight to get Wrigley in the house. Unsuccessful. Decide to leave the damn dog outside. Think of the wording in my head for his listing on Craigslist. Deciding I may need to lower his price. Blue-light special, $4.50.
9:59 Logan has to go to the bathroom. Eliza took OFF her shoes to go see a bird. Out the window. In the other room.
10:00 I am threatening NOT going.
10:01 Finally have shoes and hats on - get Cooper in car seat, and Logan and Eliza IN the van.
10:01-10:05 FOUR minutes listening to Eliza and Logan argue over who should climb into their seats first.
10:05 I consider a margarita.
10:06 Cooper poops. Buckle in Logan and Eliza in car seats.
10:07-10:11 change poopy diaper whilst listening to Logan and Eliza fighting "YES!". "NO!". "YES!". "NO!".
10:11 I consider purchasing earplugs at Target.
10:12 Cooper in car seat.
10:13 Refill my coffee mug. Close all doors to van.
10:14 Logan screams that he dropped his book. Re-open back door to van. Retrieve book. Re-close van.
10:15 Finally backing out of driveway, Logan and Eliza are singing "ABC's".
Thankfully that doesn't happen quite like that on the regular. Come August, Logan will start preschool, and I will be adding a FIFTH child to the van-car-seat-equation. Please, send prayers (and wine) for me. And most specifically, for my sanity.
On the upside, Parker has discovered a new "fake cough" which is pretty freaking cute. It almost makes up for the lack of sleeping the twin-duo are managing to accomplish at night. But, that is a topic for a different day. I do, however, have a teeny video with the fake coughing... and a little happy Cooper.
Today we went to a Butterfly House which was awesome. I do believe that will become a weekly trip. Close, quiet, and free. Boo-yah!