Thursday, May 19, 2011


Right now I have a pile of baby in my lap. My babies are getting bigger by the minute and my lap is getting smaller, yet I continue to adapt to be able to juggle babies. Baby juggler ... add that to my resume.

Every afternoon, after the big kids go down for nap, I have my individual snuggle time with Parker and Cooper. One baby naps in the swing, while the other naps on my chest. Switch, and repeat. This is one of my most favorite times of day. I am finally able to relax, and I how lucky I am to lay across this giant chair with a sweet, soft-headed baby breathing deeply and sweetly sleeping on my chest. There really is no better feeling. If you haven't tried it, I suggest you do.

Cooper nuzzles into the crook of arm. He takes a few sucks on his paci, then rests. A few more sucks, and rests. I can feel his deep, long breaths through his restful body. He is gentle and sweet. Parker anchors his hand. He does this no matter where he is, or what he is doing. He grabs a handful of shirt, mama's hair, my nose, or just wedges it under my chin. Once he is snuggled in he rests. His breaths are shallower, but his little lips are slightly opened and his sweet warm breath is just soothing.

Perhaps some think that these naps should be spent in their cribs, and perhaps I will have a hard time transitioning them in the future. This may fully be true, but in this moment; in this mommy-moment of breathing in my babies, I can't imagine trading this for anything.
This leads me to my revelation. I want another baby. I must have lost my mind, but I knew when the twins were about a month old that I wanted another baby. Never even imagining I would have more than two children, I am here, mama of three boys and contemplating a fourth. I just don't feel done. I want to feel a baby kick for the first time again. I want to experience just one more birth. I can't explain it, I just don't feel done.

Can you imagine laundry for 4 kids?

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