Sunday, July 26, 2009

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good - Brian is home from Canada!!! YAY!!! So glad to have you back, honey.

The Bad - I don't get a vacation.

The Ugly - somewhere in the Amazon and Congo may live a spider 5n feet in diameter.

That's right, you heard me.

Anyone who knows me, knows that I HATE spiders. HATE. Like, hate in the way that I once followed a spider around my college apartment until Jenny or Stacey got home because I was sure that if I attempted to capture/kill/smoosh the spider, it would sense and know my plans, and as my hand or foot would near the creature, it would JUMP onto my body and attack me. This is the same reason that I made my neighbor come into my house to remove an already dead spider from my kitchen. You know, because maybe it was just pretending to be dead and awaiting the perfect moment to ATTACK! Ha, spider. Lindsay - 1, Spider - 0.

But, I am pretty sure that in a fight with the Amazon spider beast, I would be the one losing. It was a show on History Channel called Monster Quest. Ever seen it? We kinda got sucked in. We watched an episode once about the alleged Dog Man that lives in Southern Wisconsin. Now, in case you are wondering where I get my irrational fears from, my MOM was convinced that the Dog Man was living in her back yard, just waiting for my Dad to leave out of town before he would jump out of the trees, eat her dogs, and learn how to open doors. Love you mom.

The show was pretty interesting, and all I can say is that I am glad that I am not anywhere near the Amazon or the Congo. Or Texas, because apparently, Texas has something called the Camel Spider that has been known to bite while you are sleeping, injecting venom into your skin so you can't feel it eating chunks of your flesh. No, I can't make this stuff up. The researchers where only able to locate a spider with a body 10 inches in diameter - so overall, probably 2 ft. wide with it's eight furry legs. Hey, when you're talking spiders, what's the difference between 2 ft, or 5ft. I mean, really... Either way, I'm calling the neighbor.

1 comment:

  1. In my defense the "dog Man" sitings were in my area yes...AND we just moved in to our new home in the middle of NOWHERE!! 7 months later...I'm good now. AND...who was it that saved you and your brother from all the spiders when you were little hmmmm? And you both still scream like little girls.