Monday, August 24, 2009

OH NO! OH NO! OH NO!!!!!

Ok so you remember my post about the spider in the Congo?
http://myprojectmommyhood.blogspot.com/2009/07/good-bad-and-ugly.html

Well, the situation I had this morning might as well have been a 5ft spider encounter. I reacted the same as if it was!

I was the first to take my long commute to work - you know, from upstairs to downstairs - and immediately spotted the intruder. A HUGE black spider on the ceiling in the living room. He seemed to be either napping, or plotting his evil attack on the household - probably the latter - so I took the time to plot my own plan:

Step 1 - watch the spider
Step 2 - make sure he DOES NOT MOVE
Step 3 - wait very patiently for Brian to come downstairs to take care of said spider.

Brian came downstairs and I pointed out the spider and asked him to kill it. Well, that is where the plan went TERRIBLY wrong. What I should have done was give Brian a step-by-step action plan on how exactly to remove the spider, because as we know, they are known to ATTACK! Sadly, I did not give an action plan, and instead watched in horror as Brian stood on the couch and end table, teetering and reaching to get the spider when the beast JUMPED OFF THE CEILING, TRIED TO EAT HIS ARM, LANDED IN THE OVERSTUFFED CHAIR, and went missing. Did you hear that? IT IS MISSING! I yelled at Brian as if he had just lost our house and life savings in a poker game (sorry honey, really, I'm sorry) and made him scour the area for the missing intruder. He is nowhere ot be found. Brian of course had to leave for work, but I have to stay here!!! The first thought in my head was to EVACUATE, but I just can't do that! I have kids to care for! Do you think one of them will kill it for me when it shows its evil face - guns a blazing?!

1 comment:

  1. the beast JUMPED OFF THE CEILING, TRIED TO EAT HIS ARM, LANDED IN THE OVERSTUFFED CHAIR, and went missing. Did you hear that? IT IS MISSING!


    I just peed myself.

    ReplyDelete