Dear Logan

My dearest first born, you were most definitely a labor of love 4 years ago today.  Today you stand tall and confident, you are stubborn and firm.  like your mom. And 4 years ago you were no different.  You put up a fight while being forced into this world, and once here, you proved to be the strong, kind soul we knew you would be.  My labor with you was so hard, but so worth it that I would do it over again a hundred times to know you. You are that worth it.

This past year you have really changed.  You have opened up, learned how to be adventurous and live outside of your comfort zone.  I hope to learn this from you since that is not in my nature, but something I strive to be able to do more. I really think God and the universe gave me three boys to teach me great things about life, love, and strength.

On your "Four Birthday", as you call it, we celebrate you.  We celebrate you as the smart, funny, sweet and beautiful boy you are! You are also the most amazing big brother to Parker and Cooper.  We are all so lucky to have you as part of our family. I love the way you hug, the way you love routine, the way you fall asleep in the most strange positions in your bed. I love how you love chocolate as much as I do. I love the way you remember everything. I love your ache to learn new things, and how you retain knowledge unlike anyone I have met. I love how you love to read and how you belly laugh at the same books nightly. I love how much you love your brothers and your Wrigley.  I love how kindly you care for your stuffed animals, and through this, I know you are following the amazing example that your Dad gives you about the ability to nurture, care and love.  I love how you pick up on words and use them in sentences that make you sound wise beyond your years, and I love how you still say "Smoovie" instead of smoothie.  I love that you love smoothies.  I love all 39 pounds of your strong, healthy body, and I often watch your eyelashes move up and down when you blink revealing the twinkle in your greenish brownish blueish eyes while you are telling me an important story, and I know it's important to you because your stories always are. You have passion when you speak, conviction when you argue, and creativity when you play.  You are sensitive, a trait which you have gotten from both mom and dad, and I know that your kind heart was made for extraordinary work.

You changed my life. You made me a mother.  That is the single most incredible moment of my life. You did that.  You made my life so much better.  Having you started our family. This past year had such hard times and you handled adding two babies to our family with such grace and ease that I found myself looking to you as an example of strength and patience.  I can never thank you enough for the being the big brother you are to Parker and Cooper.  You amaze me.

I love you more than you know. More than you will ever know. until you have a child of your own.

Today you are four.  You are one of the loves of my life and I love you to the moon and back, the moon and back, and the moon and back. Blargy blargy, big dude.

Love, Mommy

And here you were this morning getting ready for school - in the outfit YOU picked out so you could "Look handsome on my four birthday".